Add & Subtract - Forgiving Others

We continue the theme today with Forgiving Others

ADD UNDERSTANDING

Our grievances towards others gets stuck in the facts of what they have done to us: the insensitive behaviours, the clumsy words, the harsh attacks, the cruel abuse. There is no denying the reality of how wrong they were. I call this the “raw material” level; our experiences must be acknowledged and processed through inner work in order to move on.

Yet fortunately, we are more than flesh and bone . If we are to free ourselves of the burden of our unforgiveness, next we must allow our vision to perceive more deeply into their faulty actions, try to perceive what was going on behind their choices. This second level of “understanding” depersonalises their attacks:

Were they tired, stressed, unwell, in pain?
Were they afraid, guilty, anxious, upset?
Were they projecting their own issues, traumas, unfinished business?
While such understanding never excuses the behaviour, it helps to explain it. To humanise the monster who may be more like us than we want to admit. To assist our journey of releasing ourselves (and the other) from the events.

David Hawkins on understanding others:

“The great teachers have said that the negativity which we see in a person or in society is really due to blindness, ignorance, and unconsciousness…

We are able to sees innocence even behind the most rash and apparently horrible behaviours. We look inside a person and see the frightened animal that just doesn’t know any better. We are aware that, if cornered, it will surely attack us and bite. It just doesn’t realise that our intentions are peaceful, and so it flails out wildly”

Source: Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender

SUBTRACT RESENTMENT

When we only focus on the hurts done to us, and the raw material of our wounding, we can get stuck in resentment and eventually, bitterness.

Yes, we must clear out our emotions around the abuse, shake the chemicals out of our body. Then we attempt to understand the aggressors internal process, to explain why they did what they did.

But then we can start to enquire:

What have I gained from the trauma?
What have I learned (in the negative sense - what I don’t want or like)?
What qualities have developed in me, not despite these challenges, but because of them?
Such questions can help us to move towards the freedom of true forgiveness.

American minister and author Catherine Ponder:

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free”

Source: The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity

Here's to our ongoing release through forgiveness.