Old feelings need release

Clearing Emotions

Emotions are feelings which have not been felt. When we get overwhelmed by the amount, intensity or duration of strong feelings, we tend to shut down the heart. The energy gets blocked, the chemicals of feelings stored in the cell receptors, and we are left with a burden of residue.

Our emotions, old stuck feelings, will come up for healing. We get triggered, and our unfinished business screams for our attention. We all know the feeling of activation, where our mood suddenly drops, and we find ourself drowning in anxiety, depression, rage.

Our first job, especially as men, is to get better at being more present to our feelings. To get more used to our heart space, and the waves of feelings which steadily flow through. To feel everything—joy, sadness, love, fear, gratitude, anger—without suppressing, projecting or adding stories. This helps us connect to life and others more fully, surfing through the waves of experience with less resistance and jamming up.

Our second job is to deal with old feelings stuck inside. In therapy, much of our work is to clear the backlog of feelings/emotions from past experiences stored in our body/mind. While the past is gone, the residue from the past is still very present.

As we work through the load, space is cleared that can be filled with the loving, creative energies of our true self.

I suggest a three-pronged approach to make processing old blocks as efficient as possible:

1. When you notice strong emotion arising, acknowledge it and ask yourself, “what does this remind me of? What age and event does this go back to?” By recognising emotion as residue from the past, rather than being all about the current situation, we can connect the dots accurately. The emotion is seen, heard and properly understood in our mind. It starts to shift.

2. Old feelings can be brutally intense. To help move the chemicals through our system, while maintaining the mental awareness of step 1, drink some water and breathe. Long, deep breaths to calm the nervous system into safety, telling the body it is safe to release. When very strong emotions emerge, try more robust breathing techniques, such as the Wim Hof technique: strong inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth x 40-60 breaths, then hold the exhalation for 30, breathe in and hold for 15.

3. When highly triggered, and sitting with the emotion feels unbearable, move!. Walk. Run. Stretch. Shake. Any exercise you like. If safe and comfortable, scream, kick, punch a pillow. Then be still again, and let yourself be aware of the emotions as in step I.

As you know, we have to feel it to heal it, to see it to free it, to know it to grow it. Welcome the old feelings, process them, and reclaim the parts of you that have been trapped within. The freedom you gain is wonderful.